Size 19 Sneakers, Perhaps

Hey hey hey! I apologize for practically never writing- I try to only write when I have something interesting to say. And right now, school is good, family is good, and life is good. AKA I have a boring life.

In spite of my bleak world, I write in a notebook almost every night. I guess it's a diary, but I don't like to call it that because I don't want to make myself sound like I'm eleven years old. :]

Anyway, I sat down to write in my notebook last night. I didn't do anything cool yesterday that i could write about (because of my boring life) and so I decided to just pray via writing.

It started off, "God, give me..."

I finished writing those three words and I had to put my pen down. I was appalled at myself. What happened to at least the opening 'thank you's?

And what did He need to give me, anyway?

God, do this for me, do that for me.
God, give me confidence... so that i can feel good about myself.
God, help me gain knowledge in this area... so that I can do well on a test to better my future.
God, heal this person... so that I don't have to worry about them anymore.

Why is it that we always want God to do something for us?
Why does He deal with these selfish prayers?

We're selfish and we always have been. Take Adam and Eve for example, with the apple. We want the best deal.

Jeremiah 29:11 reads that God has wonderful plans for you. This idea was what brought me to the Lord. I thought to myself on that day at Glendo, the only way that I can live my best life and have an awesome eternity is through accepting Christ. Sounds good to me.
And it's true! God knows what's best for us; He has an awesome plan for you and I. And that is what every single person on the earth wants: An amazing life. And we can get it with a few simple steps in the right direction.

Christianity is a selfish religion, hence.

But should it be that way?

I mean, look at God. He made us, we were jerks, he decided to send his son down to DIE for us, and we're still jerks. And yet all he does is love us, despite our jerkyness.

I don't know if God wears shoes or not, but if he does, they're probably huge. Now put yourself in them. You have an unconditional, passionate love for someone and throughout their whole life you contiunually give them what they need. In return, you get a small conversation before bedtime and lies and denial and sometimes ridicule.

Maybe Christianity wasn't intended to look like this. Maybe it's a faith where we serve God and expect nothing in return just like how he's done for us.

I want to ask God what I can do for Him, not what He can do for me. He's done enough.