Friends vs. Faith, Part 1

When someone you care about deeply does nothing but hurt you, should you push them away, or pull them in closer?

I've been struggling with this very question for about a year now. Before I get into the source of all this bafflement, I should probably start at the beginning. Going into sixth grade, I was scared to death. I was leaving behind people that I had known for practically half of my life to go somewhere where I knew no one. It's not like I'm a social outcast or anything (at least I hope I'm not...), it's just that I knew who I could trust, who the “Good Christians” were, and felt that no matter what I did, it would be OK because I had my own personal “support system.” So when I learned that I would be going to a charter school where the only person I knew was my arch enemy (not very Christian of me, I know) I was more than a little nervous.

I remember walking up to my new homeroom the first day, trying to calm my shaking self, wondering how I was going to get through this. And then there he was. At first I couldn't believe that someone so handsome would be speaking to little ole me, the new weird girl. But he was. I'll admit, I had a tiny crush on him. But this crush quickly grew into something more. It grew into an amazing friendship. We became like brother and sister, sharing everything with each other.

He turned out to be a really funny guy. He could make me smile when I felt blue, make me laugh when all I wanted to do was punch something and scream, and most importantly, he brought me closer to God. He was sort of a goody-two shoes who never cussed (unless of course you count shucks as a cuss word), who prayed everyday before he ate lunch, and read the bible in his spare time. Amazingly, through all of this, he was well respected by everyone and extremely popular. The little kids looked up to him (we attend a K-8 school), the older kids befriended him, and the teachers used him as their poster child. He was popular, he was brilliant, and he was my best friend. Things were great throughout sixth grade.

And then seventh grade hit. At first, things seemed normal. He was joining new cliques, staying tight with the old ones, and helping me through some hard times. We were about a month into the school year when things started to feel off. At first it was just little things. For instance, he would cuss every now and then just for the fun of it. Then he stopped praying. Eventually he stopped bringing his bible to school, instead replacing it with conversations with his new-found friends that were far from what he believed. Finally, he did the unthinkable.

He was starting rumors that to this day have still not been cleared up. A few of these rumors he started resulted in one girl changing schools. When he was confronted about it, he just cussed them out. He stopped studying, instead copying off of his friends tests. He lied to me, then lied to his parents, then even lied to the principal on several occasions, framing other students for crimes he committed. He repeatedly was suspended, and could never stay out of detention. All this time I stood by watching, not knowing how to help. He was an entirely different person than the one I had met in sixth grade. I missed the old him, but I just couldn't let go. I knew that his behavior was starting to effect me as well, but I didn't want to loose him.

It was February now, and I couldn't wait for Faceplant. The day we left a close friend of ours and I had tried reasoning with him once again. The result? Our friend got a black eye while I stormed out in tears. Faceplant could not have come at a better time.

While I was up there, it was as if God was telling me exactly what had to happen. There were so many chains holding me down in life, and I needed help. I did not like the person I was becoming. The entire time that weekend everything that had been happening the past year kept playing and replaying in my mind. I knew what I had to do, but I didn't think I was ready to do it. I prayed and prayed for God to give me strength, and he did.

To be continued...